


GoodLions: Funny how?

by Bas_the_Wolf_Commando



Category: GoodFellas (1990), ビースターズ | BEASTARS
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anthropomorphic, BEASTARS - Freeform, Free if he was Joe Pesci in Goodfellas, Furry, Goodfellas - Freeform, Joe Pesci is the GOAT, Lions, Other, Parody, R rated movie after all, Shishigumi - Freeform, there is cussing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:14:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25832623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bas_the_Wolf_Commando/pseuds/Bas_the_Wolf_Commando
Summary: Goodfellas but with the ShishigumiJust a quick little parody of the "Funny how?" scene that I whipped up a few days ago after getting inspired by this fanart work I saw on the Beastars Discord. It was of one the Goodfellas Movie Posters with Agata, Ibuki, and Free as Henry, Jimmy, and Tommy respectively. Wish I knew who did the picture because awesome job. Most of the credit for this goes to the movie and Joe Pesci. Obviously not really canon, but if it was it'd take place before the main story.Beastars Discord: https://discord.gg/uE8Hynx
Kudos: 9





	GoodLions: Funny how?

-The Sweet Cat hostess restaurant

It was in the afternoon, and most of the Shishigumi were lounging in their favorite restaurant under their protection. Most of them were high as kites on silvervine, the other half were nearly drunk under the table. Free, the tall scarred Indian Lion was telling one of his wild and crazy stories.

“What’s really funny is the fucking bank job away in Zebuth Town, I’m in the middle of the fucking weeds laying down, and this guys comes over and says: 

_“What are you doing?”_

“I said, _I’m resting.”_

_“Here you’re resting?! Go lay at a fucking beach or a park!”_

“I said _I’m resting. I know when I’m resting, I’m resting._ Anyway, they bring me in and then this big wolf cop starts asking me all kinds of questions. Y’know this and that. Then he says:

_“Oh uh so what are you going to tell us, tough guy?”_

“I say ’ _My usual, zero. Nothing. Like I’d tell you, pup.”_

The other lions chuckled as Free continued.

“He says ‘ _No, you're going tell me something today, tough guy._ ”

“And I said _‘Alright, I’ll tell you something. Go chase your tail or rollover.”_

The other lions erupted in boisterous laughter, especially Agata, the youngest, a dark Congo Lion who always cracked up listening to Free’s stories.

 **"Bing! Pow! Boom!"** Free said throwing little punches. 

"You saw the pictures Ibuki, I had lumps this size popping out of my mane. Fucking Mutt. I'd fucking destroy him out on the streets. So yea, so now I’m coming around y’know. And I start to come out of it and who do I see in front of me? This big fucking mutt again! 

He says _‘Oh, what you want to tell me now tough guy?”_

I said ‘ _Mutt, what are you doing here?! I thought I told you to go roll over and chase your tail!”_

The restaurant’s patrons all began to stare concerned as the rowdy group of lions laughed their hearts out.

“I thought he was so pissed he was going to shit.”

Agata could barely contain himself as Free continued to visualize the incident.

**Bing! Pow! Boom! Fuckers!**

“You’re really-you’re really funny.” Agata said winded from all the laughing, trying to catch his breath.

Free’s smile dissipated as he looked over at Agata who was still laughing with the rest of them. A little harder than the others it seemed.

“What do you mean ‘I’m funny?” The pale lion asked.

“It’s funny, y’know? You’re funny. It-it's a good story, you’re a funny guy.” Agata said, taking a sip of his milk vodka while nervously laughing.

Free looked at him confused. “What’d ya mean. You mean the way that I talk? What?”

Agata put the cup down and tried to explain better as he sensed Free wasn’t amused. Free's tongue wasn't even hanging out like usual, which meant he was being serious.

“Y’know... it’s just funny… y’know it’s just the way you tell the story and everything."

 **“Funny how?”** Free asked, gradually baring his fangs in a half smile as he stared at Agata. It was clear to everyone at the table that Agata had apparently stepped over a line with Free. Every lion at the table froze. “I mean what’s funny about it?” The scarred cat asked the younger lion.

Dolph, knowing just how quick and violent Free could get especially when he's high and drunk, tried to intercede. “Free baby, you got it all wrong. Kid didn'-”

“No, No Dolph.” Free cut him off with a look before turning his attention back to Agata. “He’s a big cat, he knows what he said. What’d you say? Funny how?”

Dolph backed off as, Agata froze up trying to search for the correct words. He too knew how quick Free lived up to his name, letting loose at the drop of a hat. "Jus-"

“What?” Free curtly asked waiting for an answer.

“Jus-just..y’know...yer funny? Heh.” He stumbled nervously trying to clear things up. He didn’t mean anything by it. It was just a complement.

Free cocked his head at Agata as if trying to weigh that weak explanation. “I mean, let me understand this. Maybe it’s just me and I’m just a little fucked up maybe. Like I’m funny how? Funny how, like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh? I’m here to fuckin’ amuse _you_? What do you mean funny? Funny how? How am I funny?”

“Well, just...y’know how you tell the story? What?” The darker lion was near at a loss for words. He was completely clueless as to how he got into this and more importantly how to get out.

“No, no I don’t know. You said it. How do I know? You said it, that I’m funny. How the **fuck** am I funny? What the fuck is so funny about **_me?_ ** !" Free banged his fist on the table. " **Tell me! Tell me what’s funny?!"** He growled.

The whole room was completely dead as Free glared at Agata. The world seemed to stop as the dark toned lion recoiled as Free leaned in staring menacingly at him with his blank eyes. Agata blinked as he desperately tried to think of a better defense, then...it hit him; this was just a fucking prank. He’s just fucking with him this whole time.

“Get the fuck outta here, Free!” Agata shouted breaking the silence.

Free finally dropped the charade and began cracking up as he knew he had got Agata good. “HA HA! You pussy! I almost had him! I almost had him! Ya stuttering cub you! Sabu was he shaking?! I worry about you sometimes Agata, you may fold under pressure!” 

Everyone at the table having a good laugh, just relieved it was all a prank, Agata included, who practically laughed his heart out. While all this was going down, the owner of the establishment, Sonny the Vulture, craned his long neck down over Free’s shoulder, having actually been standing there the whole time as if waiting for the right moment to speak. He had with him a bill and he was nervous as he approached the scarred cat. Free still mid chuckle, noticed the bird’s beak looming over his shoulder and became a bit irate by the bird’s presence.

"What?! What the fuck is it with you? I thought I was getting pinched over here with this fuck hanging over my neck like some scavenger looking for leftovers! Whaddya want?!”

He nervously explained pointing to the waiter behind them “Well, this guy’s worried and well he was too scared to come over here to give your bill?”

Free looked over the meek looking lynx standing by the bar in the Aloha shirt and Lei. 

“The waiter?” Free asked, skeptical.

“Well, I just need to know if you could just take care of this.” The bird proposed, feebly trying to remain cordial.

“Yeah, it’s no problem. Just send some more of your ladies over and y’know just put it on my tab.”

The vulture actually tried to swallow his nerve and tell the real reason he was over. “Well, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about, y’know it ain’t just this bill, it’s seven fucking big ones you owe me. Seven hundred-thousand Yen I mean, it ain’t table scraps y’know. I mean I don’t mean to be out of order or nothing, but-”

Free took a swig of the remaining whiskey in his glass as the bird continued to make his plight. The other cats laughed at the bird as well.

“Y _ou don’t mean to be out of order, huh?_ Oh it’s good you don't mean to be outta order-” Free said sardonically rolling his eyes as the cowardly bird tried to reason. _Who the fuck was he to bring up all this stuff in front of the guys?_ He thought.

Sonny kept on regardless, he really needed the money. “I mean all you gotta do is just pay me back in inst-”

Free shook his head and let loose on the bird. “You call embarrassing me in front of my friends, like calling me a fuckin’ deadbeat in order huh?!” 

“What? No... Look Free, that’s not-”

The big cat grabbed hold of the vulture’s tie and held the bird in place, looking him dead in the eye. “You know what yer a real fucking bottom feeder y’know that? Y’know how much money we spend in this dump?!” Sonny knew immediately just how badly he fucked up and began trying to calm things back down, but Free was having none of it as he held the bird close and gripped his empty glass.

“C’mon Free...d-don’t be like that…” The bird groveled.

 **“What do you mean ‘don’t be like that?!”** Free shouted as he smashed the glass upside the avian’s head and kicked him away from the table in front of all the scared patrons.

The bird quickly tucked tail and ran off embarrassed with Free almost giving chase. The other Shishigumi were laughing up a riot as Free continued to cuss the bird out. 

“Get the fuck outta here!” The lion shouted before turning to sit back down. However he noticed the lynx waiter still standing there, staring at him.

“...What the fuck are you looking at?!” The Indian lion shouted at the smaller cat. The terrified lynx quickly backed away, wanting none of whatever the hell Free was. Free quickly scooped the contents of the table next to him and tossed them at the waiter’s feet. “Fuck outta here!”

“ _Don’t wanna bring over the check.’_ You believe this prick?”

This was just business as usual for the Shishigumi, as the other lions continued laughing at Free’s antics.

“You know you're a funny guy, Free!” Agata shouted, breathlessly ecstatic.

 **“** That’s it Agata! That’s it!” Free shouted, playfully tugging at ebony lion’s collar, acting like he was going to swipe him with his claws.

“No, No, No please.” Agata pleaded overcome with laughter. “Come on Free, come on.”

“Hey you really want to laugh. This leopard last week asked me to count his spots! I said for seven hundred-thousand I’ll charge ya!”

 **“You really are a funny guy!”** Agata screamed.

 **“That’s it! That’s it!”** Free childishly declared before piling on top of the chuckling Congo Lion.


End file.
